Mom's Graduation - The Circle of Life

 You never really think your mom or dad are going to die, and that they will just live on forever.  In a sense, they do live forever, we all do, but in our short life here on earth, it seems it will just keep on going and going.  

Almost to the day, Dad left us 4 years ago and it was quite a shocker.  It was sudden and all happened in about a week. We were not ready or prepared.  Mom spent every day of those 4 years wishing to be reunited with him.  She would tell us she could feel his presence sometimes and wanted so badly to reach over in bed and just feel him there with her.

About 2 years ago, mom showed signs of Alzheimer's and more so about a year ago when dementia was part of her everyday life.  Yes, we heard her stories multiple times.....she watched her favorite show - To Catch A Smuggler over and over - even the same episode not realizing she just watched it the day before.  Oh, she could remember events and stories from her teenage years and adult life, but anything recent was not able to be remembered.  

The slow progression and struggles from growing old doesn't make it easier when someone leaves us, but it does make it more understanding and easier to prepare, and we had that with mom.  

Around Easter, about a month before she passed away - we like to say "graduated" on to something better and more fulfilling, we knew time was short with her.  She didn't leave her bed and didn't eat very much.  She tried to get a few sentences out but couldn't remember what she was wanting or trying to say.  About a week after that, she didn't speak anymore and the last 2-3 weeks, barely opened her eyes.  She was at peace.  She was comfortable. She was surrounded by family and friends.  She was ready to finally go and be with dad.  

Our family and most importantly, our children, have wonderful and plentiful memories of their grandmother and my mom which will always be cheerished...and most of those memories and stories bring smiles to our faces and joy to our lives. 

All of us are much better people for having her in our lives.  A short little blog post about your mother can't ever come close to completing her story.  Her story and influence lives on in all who knew her and every member of her family, my family, my siblings and their families, and on and on.  This little blog post is just a brief reminder that life is short....fragile.....important......meaningful.  We get so caught up in day to day stuff we sometimes forget what's really important.  

I pulled together a few photos from the magical internet and from others to showcase just a tiny bit of Mom......sure everyone has a mom.....but only 4 people on the planet had MY mom, and we are the luckiest 4 children ever.

Aren't orange cabinets coming back in style?

Dad always had licorice around

Six Flags Discovery Kingdom - they even rode some roller coasters!!

Their last real picture together - with Louie, Dog #1

50th wedding Anniversary Family Reunion in St. George. We made them wear these hats while everyone else did family tributes to them

Campfire up the canyon

As we get to these later photos, notice how often the color purple shows up.

She loved Halloween (when it wasn't snowing) and would sit on the porch waiting to greet all the kids

After Dad died, she wore his ring and never ever took it off

She loved sitting outside in the back watching the planes fly over, listening to birds and dogs barking

She loved going to church 

She loved the kittens.   (Notice the ring?)

Her great-grandkids loved going to see her.  Jane drew her a picture and Great-grandma wanted to know all about it

During Mom's last week or so, she often would do this...for several minutes.  We like to think she was reaching out to others who were watching her, comforting her and preparing her - those we could not see, but she could.  We wish she could have talked so she could tell us what she was seeing - who she was seeing

I had almost a week to spend with mom - Just me and her.  I spent precious moments feeding her, talking to her and holding her hand.  She would squeeze it when I asked her questions and told her I loved her, so I know she was aware of some things and that I was there. She wasn't talking and never opened her eyes.  This photo was one of the rare times she was out of bed, and we just sat at the window with a breeze coming in, I told her there were birds chirping, the trees were starting to bloom, and the sun was out.  I cherish those special last moments I was able to spend with her

This was probably close to Easter - right before she stopped talking and keeping her eyes open

Paul, her brother, came to visit - this was about a week before she passed away.  One of the last times she actually opened her eyes for a few minutes when he came to visit her

PURPLE - mom's favorite color.  Go back and look at some of the pics...her clothes, dishcloths, curtains, mom had purple everythings....and bright colors.  Look at the chairs and carpet in the church even!  They were purple!!!!

 Bold. Happy. Different.  That was mom.

We got to the church very early, before anyone was there.  We had some quiet time to say our goodbyes. 

The service was beautiful.  Mom would have loved it.  Like we did with dads, us four children talked about memories and lessons we learned from mom.  It was uplifting and special.  Leslie's violin musical number was angelic and everyone there felt the love mom brought into our lives.   

VIDEO of the service:

Why am I the only one looking at the camera? 

Lynnette's Family

Cherie's Family

Adam's Family

I went back a few days ago to take the final pic:

Funeral's usually end up becoming a family reunion, bitter-sweet.

The night before, we went to the church for a family lunch and get-together.

Then to pay tribute to dad, since it was 4 years ago, we did a family service project and went and picked up trash for about 30 mins at the shopping center where he usually walked and picked up garbage every day.

I'll end with my favorite pic of Mom - taken at Christmas when she was at our house.  The circle of life goes on and never stops.  Time doesn't wait for anyone.  We never know when it will be our turn to leave the earth, some last longer than others.  For that reason, each day is a gift.  Make memories. 

Time is a funny thing.  It's always the same - it passes by at the same rate forever.  But there is a phenomenon  that even google can't explain,  and that is time seems to pass you buy faster and faster and you can't stop it......yet it's the same as it was always......but it's faster as you get older.    Very strange.

   I'm so glad my kids got to know my mom and had a strong relationship with her and dad.  We always lived pretty close to them during the time my kids were growing up.  Mom and Dad were a regular part of our lives.  We went on outings with them, movies, amusement parks, dinners.  We were blessed to live close enough to Mom and Dad to spend time with them weekly for about 20 years, and even living with them for a year.

We love you mom!